Let's say you're my friend. You have just suffered a loss, a deep personal one, and you are grieving. I come to you, sit down, and I listen to you and help you achieve catharsis. When you are done and it's time for me to contribute to the conversation, I simply tell you I care, that I will try to understand as best as I am able, and I let you know that you can come to me anytime you need to talk, and I will listen.
Fair enough, right? I've done what a friend would do most of the time for their friends--be there for them when the need arises. I don't judge whether the loss was something you could have prevented, I don't lecture you on why you should have done something different and I don't try to put my values, moral or otherwise, on you.
Now, let's say the reverse happened. I'm the one with the problem, and you come to me as a "friend." So you listen (at least I think you're trying to listen, even if you interrupt me endlessly during my talking), and then you take my hand in yours and you say, "I will pray for you, you know; I won't let your soul suffer as I will seek a blessing from Jesus for you."
That's well and good if it's a person from your church who believes the same things you do, or if it's a family member who shares your faith, but this kind of response is completely wrong for someone who doesn't share your beliefs. And nowadays, that is often the case.
I'm an atheist. But I'm also secular and a humanist, and I try to keep religion out of discussions in which a difference in beliefs might make some awkward moments. That's how I try to deal with people for the most part, and how some of my dearest friends have been in the past, including one close friend who was a devout Catholic, but who never pushed it on me, despite the fact that I grew up Catholic and "escaped" from it!
But if someone has to inject their faith into any conversations they have with others, especially when they know definitely that the person they're speaking with is not of their faith, how much of a friend are they? If they try to negate the part of you that is either not religious or of a different belief, they cannot really respect you for being who you are--instead, they are transferring their values onto you, and thereupon find you lacking by their moral standards.
I'm pregnant, and I want an abortion....by my belief system, it's got nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with me, a woman, making a choice. By your belief system, I'm going to hell for killing a "baby!" So you feel morally superior to me basing my choice on your rationale.
I'm gay, and I love my partner, with whom I've spent more years than you have with your spouse. By my reasoning, why would you have anything to say about who I care to love and want to spend my life with? You, on the other hand, see nothing wrong with having multiple partners, or multiple spouses, but have a problem with two people with the same equipment caring and loving each other. Again, you are transferring your moral judgement on my life.
I'm for gun control, you love to shoot guns. I don't eat any animal products, you crave steaks about every 20 minutes. I believe that it took many millions of years for this world and all the life on it to evolve into what we know today--you believe that a lot of begatting only took about 10,000 years, and that when your ancestors were little, they used to have Dino the Dinosaur as a family pet.
It doesn't matter. It really can't matter when you come right down to it--no single person on the face of this planet (except if you are one of an identical twin) has gone through the same experiences, has the same genes, or even the same ideas. And that's the joy of being who we are. We are the world (and no, don't cue up the Michael Jackson song, either!) and we are a world of differences. If we were all the same, we might as well be robots or clones, because innovation, ideas and inventions would never come, would never be able to discover the joy at finding out about another person.
I confess: I still have a lot of fury at a former friend because she chose to let her religious beliefs come between us. She always injected her fundie beliefs and values into conversations, and then she got offended the day I told her that I couldn't stand her and the "fucking fundies" she was part of. But during a particularly desperate year in her life, I was there for her, talking about everything in the world (as long as it didn't involve religion) and tried to listen to her without making any moral assumptions. And as a thank you, I had to listen to her rants about gays being evil, about those who had abortions being whores and worse, about how my soul was headed straight for the deepest bowels of hell, and about her being morally superior to me because she had been "reborn" and brought Christ into her life. Oh, and yes, I almost forgot: how Muslims worshipped the "anti-Christ."
I don't ask the people I meet for the first time about what they believe in. It's immaterial, and it isn't any of my damned business. I will argue with you if I find you voted for GWB, but that's far more important than whether you have a personal "savior" or are Wiccan and keep an alter in your bedroom. Who is to know if Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus Christ, or Zeus is the better idol? Who is to question whether you are a better human being if you worship cows or eat them? That's your choice, and I've got mine. Mine says that I have a right to mine, and you have a right to yours. But if yours says that you have a right to yours, and that I have a right to yours, I will surely find you morally repugnant for not extending the same courtesy to me that I have extended to you.
The fact is, we're all right, and we're all wrong. We come at decisions from different viewpoints, we come with a set of values which we inherited from our ancestors, and we will add some new values through our own experiences. If we or our children go to a public school, there is no room--none whatsoever--for religion to be part of a mandatory curriculum. On the other hand, if you or your child goes to a private or parochial school, or if you are homeschooling your child, you are paying or playing to impart to them whatever you want.
I could never be considered shy, nor am I ever anything less than outspoken. But if you give me no reason to attack you on any of your beliefs, you should accept the same from me. Don't tell me smugly that my "god is less than your god," because so help me, I'm to the point where if you do, I will seriously contemplate hauling back and breaking your nose. Treat me as you wish to be treated: nothing less than that. How much simpler can my argument get?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
We are all the same under the skin
Cruelty and repression are without culture. It happens everywhere, all the time, and to everyone. It is not limited to Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, communists, conservatives, liberals, or any denomination, color, race, creed or gender.
It happens. It's built right into our genes--we are not that far off from our most distant ancestors, clubbing each other with a wooden club. If it weren't for that savagery, though, we might not have survived this far: no one can deny that for some reason, we progress faster when we are acting our worst toward each other. Still survival of the fittest? Perhaps. But there comes a time when we reach a crossroad, and our minds see and imagine more peace while our instincts still pull us toward another horrible conflict. We try to overcome our desire for violence, but we're still bound by rules that keep us clinging to old ways of death and destruction.
Survival in today's world is still gained by domination and force. It's not going to stop until the human race is dead, period. We kill. We believe we kill for a reason, try to rationalize our choices, but when all is said and done, there is someone standing, and someone not breathing.
There is much to change, but so few to understand, few to comprehend our existence. We can map the human genome, but until the cruelty gene is eradicated, we will always be incapable of evolving beyond our current state of mind.
There is much to be ashamed of in our history, but we still thrive on intense emotion, for bad or good. For every living thing tortured, maimed and killed, there is a Michelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Beethoven. Without the sorrow, there is no joy; without the pain, there is no pleasure.
We are dual beings, living in a world of Heaven and of Hell. We aspire to beauty, but we fall to the ugliness that made our world, our civilization.
It is not one sole group that harms and hinders, it is merely a single aspect of who we are. The main difference is how some will never make that transition from the imagination to the factual, but for others, there is only a threshold to cross to do such horror.
Repression of another, of imprisoning someone weaker than ourselves is not only fact, but common. It is a better person who can think, but not act on the impulses that bring about such calamity. If we were in the situation ourselves, there is always the possibility that we would act similarly, even if we can't visualize it. We're always quick to condemn someoone else who has done something we don't approve of, but until we are in their place, we cannot and should not judge them without at least giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Under the skin, we are all the same: none of us has green blood, four eyes or six arms--we like to think we are better than those who bring harm to another, but we are not.
It happens. It's built right into our genes--we are not that far off from our most distant ancestors, clubbing each other with a wooden club. If it weren't for that savagery, though, we might not have survived this far: no one can deny that for some reason, we progress faster when we are acting our worst toward each other. Still survival of the fittest? Perhaps. But there comes a time when we reach a crossroad, and our minds see and imagine more peace while our instincts still pull us toward another horrible conflict. We try to overcome our desire for violence, but we're still bound by rules that keep us clinging to old ways of death and destruction.
Survival in today's world is still gained by domination and force. It's not going to stop until the human race is dead, period. We kill. We believe we kill for a reason, try to rationalize our choices, but when all is said and done, there is someone standing, and someone not breathing.
There is much to change, but so few to understand, few to comprehend our existence. We can map the human genome, but until the cruelty gene is eradicated, we will always be incapable of evolving beyond our current state of mind.
There is much to be ashamed of in our history, but we still thrive on intense emotion, for bad or good. For every living thing tortured, maimed and killed, there is a Michelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Beethoven. Without the sorrow, there is no joy; without the pain, there is no pleasure.
We are dual beings, living in a world of Heaven and of Hell. We aspire to beauty, but we fall to the ugliness that made our world, our civilization.
It is not one sole group that harms and hinders, it is merely a single aspect of who we are. The main difference is how some will never make that transition from the imagination to the factual, but for others, there is only a threshold to cross to do such horror.
Repression of another, of imprisoning someone weaker than ourselves is not only fact, but common. It is a better person who can think, but not act on the impulses that bring about such calamity. If we were in the situation ourselves, there is always the possibility that we would act similarly, even if we can't visualize it. We're always quick to condemn someoone else who has done something we don't approve of, but until we are in their place, we cannot and should not judge them without at least giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Under the skin, we are all the same: none of us has green blood, four eyes or six arms--we like to think we are better than those who bring harm to another, but we are not.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The new year is coming
Let's see now: a new President -- check;
A fresh administration -- check;
Democrats in charge -- check;
the religious right marginalized -- ummmmm, maybe check;
science of evolution -- check;
Kyoto Protocol -- check;
intelligence in the White House -- check.
So yeah, things are different now -- for the most part.
The U.S. might regain some of the losses of the past eight years -- we can hope. But there are so many things wrong right now it's going to take a long time to make things right.
Listen everyone, and listen good. Those of you who voted for the chimp should be the ones to apologize to every other person in this country. Shut your damned mouths and hear me: you were fucking wrong. YOU chose him, without listening to one fucking word we said -- twice. And between him, Wall Street and people like Bernie Madoff, you have paralyzed this country good.
And, as the name of my blog indicates, this is the end of the world as we know it.
You know, that's the one thing that has always bugged me and bugged me good. How can anyone, in the face of all that is both good and wise, choose to ignore it all? How can anyone sit idly by, and not contribute more to the healthy stratosphere of life and innovation that is happening around the world? How can anyone, faced with so much significant change, try to deny it? And how can anyone still try to justify the actions of a backward administration with fools as its members?
Global warming; global war; preemptive strikes; a toxic wasteland that is proliferating worldwide; unending war in many regions; daunting misery and poverty everywhere; violence and the violation of human rights; and -- where do I stop? Can I stop, or should I stop? Measure by measure, the idyllic society that some might have envisioned in the 21st century is never going to happen, but we must make do with the way things are, and strive continuously to make things a little better, day by day, to ease the burden of a society in ruins.
Yeah, I know. I know that trying to remain conservative is the idiot's and fool's way of dealing with so much. They are the arrogant or prideful souls who can't deal with change because they are so afraid of being swallowed up by a nameless and faceless entity called society that they rail against anything that doesn't fit into their limited worldview.
They're miserable, so they do one of two things: they try to make everyone fit into their neat little box of life so that there is a curtain between them and reality, or they retreat and become reclusive trying to make the world go away. Imagine being so afraid of reality that you hide in plain sight, insisting that everyone else is completely wrong and that you are the only one that is right. Imagine putting all your faith (pun intended) into a book--one single book out of millions, a book that was written by perhaps hundreds of authors adding a paragraph here and there, a book that has seen more change than thr rest of the world around it, and that can not--ever--be considered anything other than metaphorical.
But that's another argument. The point is, people cling to something, something which keeps them safe, keeps them from trying to catch up to the rest of the world. People for whom these changes are frightening, and must try their damnedest to keep these changes from ever happening.
Yoohoo! It's already done. It's been done now, slowly but surely, over the course of a century and longer. From the single lightbulb of Thomas Edison, to the first TV from Philo Farnsworth, to the first mass production of the automobile from Henry Ford, to the first plane of the Wright Brothers--these inventions, and so many more like them, shaped the world we know today. We went from horses and buggies to the Hummer, from dirigibles to a landing on the moon. I recall a speech from a man who had seen a great deal of it who said that technology is essentially tripling every twenty five years. I say now that it has accelerated beyond that estimate. Who could have ever imagined the platforms we now embrace, such as YouTube, texting, handheld computers with more power than was needed for the moon landing? Everything we could ever desire is just a short distance away--but is also so far away from the majority of people on Planet Earth that its tangibility comes into play.
How can just about a billion people on Earth control 99% of the wealth, the power, the technology, with over 6 billion people without such progression? We have brought this situation to a head, with the greediness and arrogance of many who have betrayed the trust the public has put in them. It seems more and more that the divide between most people has grown to a great chasm--the rich, who are
A fresh administration -- check;
Democrats in charge -- check;
the religious right marginalized -- ummmmm, maybe check;
science of evolution -- check;
Kyoto Protocol -- check;
intelligence in the White House -- check.
So yeah, things are different now -- for the most part.
The U.S. might regain some of the losses of the past eight years -- we can hope. But there are so many things wrong right now it's going to take a long time to make things right.
Listen everyone, and listen good. Those of you who voted for the chimp should be the ones to apologize to every other person in this country. Shut your damned mouths and hear me: you were fucking wrong. YOU chose him, without listening to one fucking word we said -- twice. And between him, Wall Street and people like Bernie Madoff, you have paralyzed this country good.
And, as the name of my blog indicates, this is the end of the world as we know it.
You know, that's the one thing that has always bugged me and bugged me good. How can anyone, in the face of all that is both good and wise, choose to ignore it all? How can anyone sit idly by, and not contribute more to the healthy stratosphere of life and innovation that is happening around the world? How can anyone, faced with so much significant change, try to deny it? And how can anyone still try to justify the actions of a backward administration with fools as its members?
Global warming; global war; preemptive strikes; a toxic wasteland that is proliferating worldwide; unending war in many regions; daunting misery and poverty everywhere; violence and the violation of human rights; and -- where do I stop? Can I stop, or should I stop? Measure by measure, the idyllic society that some might have envisioned in the 21st century is never going to happen, but we must make do with the way things are, and strive continuously to make things a little better, day by day, to ease the burden of a society in ruins.
Yeah, I know. I know that trying to remain conservative is the idiot's and fool's way of dealing with so much. They are the arrogant or prideful souls who can't deal with change because they are so afraid of being swallowed up by a nameless and faceless entity called society that they rail against anything that doesn't fit into their limited worldview.
They're miserable, so they do one of two things: they try to make everyone fit into their neat little box of life so that there is a curtain between them and reality, or they retreat and become reclusive trying to make the world go away. Imagine being so afraid of reality that you hide in plain sight, insisting that everyone else is completely wrong and that you are the only one that is right. Imagine putting all your faith (pun intended) into a book--one single book out of millions, a book that was written by perhaps hundreds of authors adding a paragraph here and there, a book that has seen more change than thr rest of the world around it, and that can not--ever--be considered anything other than metaphorical.
But that's another argument. The point is, people cling to something, something which keeps them safe, keeps them from trying to catch up to the rest of the world. People for whom these changes are frightening, and must try their damnedest to keep these changes from ever happening.
Yoohoo! It's already done. It's been done now, slowly but surely, over the course of a century and longer. From the single lightbulb of Thomas Edison, to the first TV from Philo Farnsworth, to the first mass production of the automobile from Henry Ford, to the first plane of the Wright Brothers--these inventions, and so many more like them, shaped the world we know today. We went from horses and buggies to the Hummer, from dirigibles to a landing on the moon. I recall a speech from a man who had seen a great deal of it who said that technology is essentially tripling every twenty five years. I say now that it has accelerated beyond that estimate. Who could have ever imagined the platforms we now embrace, such as YouTube, texting, handheld computers with more power than was needed for the moon landing? Everything we could ever desire is just a short distance away--but is also so far away from the majority of people on Planet Earth that its tangibility comes into play.
How can just about a billion people on Earth control 99% of the wealth, the power, the technology, with over 6 billion people without such progression? We have brought this situation to a head, with the greediness and arrogance of many who have betrayed the trust the public has put in them. It seems more and more that the divide between most people has grown to a great chasm--the rich, who are
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