Grasp Each Day as it Comes....

Tomorrow is the first of December. Wow. Another whole year will soon be gone, and I seem to look at things in terms of years now, without the thought of simple months or days, which is scary enough as it is. People can't always accept each day as it comes, too focused on outcomes and plans for another time, often too far in the future to think about substantially.

We need to get off the roller coaster and spend a little more time with the present, and plan for the future in real ways, not allow our senses to skip over whole days or weeks to get somewhere else. So let's not rush into the holiday season, please! It's only going to be the beginning of the month, and while some people and things are going to be rushing around, don't allow time to simply vanish without an investment on your part.

We are living one big moment to another, and we're going to be disappointed when our ends come. The little moments count just as much as the big ones, and when we're at the moment of our deaths, we will regret more than we relished.

At that time, we're going to believe in the cliches about cherishing each moment as it comes, but like everyone else, it's going to be too late.

Carpe diem! And remember--the little things matter as much as the big ones.

I Fall Down and Go Boom!

When I go to doctor appointments, I get rides with the local transit company, which will often pick me up in a transit van.

The van is the kind which will often transport wheelchairs or electric scooters, as well as an area for people who can sit in regular chairs. I'm one of the latter people.

So I get on board the van, and sit in the front row. Right behind the van driver is one of those areas where wheelchairs are secured, and the seats are opposite that area. I tried to buckle my seat belt, but it wouldn't latch, so I had to re-insert it into the "well" area, and bring it back out all the way to have it latch. In the meanwhile, the driver started the bus, and asked me if I was all set, and I said yes, expecting the belt to be hitched by then.

Well, it happened really fast--the driver started down the hill a little, and was taking a sharp turn, and the seat belt wouldn't close, so I left the chair, falling off, and somehow or another, banged my head and knee. The driver was mortified, and kept asking me if I was okay, and since I didn't want to make her worry, I said I was fine. At that moment I was fine, I think, but I was getting the teeniest bit of a headache.

My ride was to see a new doctor, and I felt fine enough to go to my appointment. The new doctor was a neurologist, and we were taking about my really rotten sleep patterns. At one point, I was rubbing my neck a little and he asked if I was okay, and I told him I had fallen on the van, and he said "So that's why you have blood on your head."

Jeez! He examined it to look at it, and said I had a laceration of about 3cm, which I later found out is essentially an inch. He said when I was finished there, someone would take me down to the ER for treatment. Well, I ended up having to cancel my ride home, and then spent about 4 hours in the ER, most of the time just sitting. I didn't even have my cell phone with me, or a book. I figured if I fell asleep they would think I was reacting to a concussion, so I tried really hard not to let that happen!

When the docs looked, they agreed with the neurologist, and said I had a laceration, and they would put staples in it. So, when I left the hospital, after my friend Steve picked me up, I felt like Frankenstein with 4 staples in my scalp. Follow-up is within a week to 10 days, to have the staples removed.

And to make it even worse, I didn't have my cane with me! It wouldn't really have mattered, I guess, as I was sitting down, but there is always the thought that it might have helped.

My knee remained normal, with no evidence of trauma. Now, at least I know that while my skull is pretty thick, my skin is a lot thinner!

Simple Song of Freedom

Was watching and listening to TV this evening, and for the first time in a long time, I was watching PBS. They had an older show on, John Sebastien's Folk Songs (I know that's not the exact title, but I can't remember it).

Among the songs they played was Bobby Darin's "A Simple Song of Freedom." I might have heard the song before, but never when it was relevant to something. Now it is.

SIMPLE SONG OF FREEDOM

Come and sing a simple song of freedom
Sing it like you've never sung before
Let it fill the air
Tell the people everywhere
We, the people here, don't want a war

Hey there, Mister Black Man can you hear me?
I don't want your diamonds or your game
I do want to be someone known to you as me
and I will bet my life you want the same

Come and sing a simple song of freedom
Sing it like you've never sung before
Let it fill the air
Tell the people everywhere
We, the people here, don't want a war

Seven hundred million are enlisted
Most of what you read, most of what you read, is made of lies
But speaking one to one, ain't it everybody's sun
To wake to in the morning when we rise?

Come and sing a simple song of freedom
Sing it like you've never sung, never sung, before
Let it fill the air
Tell the people everywhere
We, the people here, don't want a war

No doubt some folks enjoy doin' battle
Like presidents, prime ministers and kings
So let's all build them shelves so they can fight among themselves
and leave us be those who want to sing

Come and sing a simple song of freedom
Sing it like you've never, ever, sung before
Let it fill the air
Tell the people everywhere
We, the people here, don't want a war

Come and sing a simple song of freedom
Sing it like you've never, ever, sung before
Speaking one to one
Ain't it everybody's sun
To wake to in the morning when we rise
Speaking one to one
Ain't it everybody's sun
To wake to in the morning when we rise


You can see Bobby Darin sing it, and to see its effect on people most recently. It's similar to Eve of Destruction, I think, but while Barry McGwire tried to pound his message into people, Bobby Darin just wants to get the message into your soul, and let it do its magic from the inside. I hope there are people who can be convinced with this song and its message who haven't already been convinced.

Peace. Give it a chance. It will be transforming, I think, in the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1LjW75ZIc0

Holiday Shopping

If I had had money, I would likely be among those folks out in the world spending dollars today, Black Friday. Unfortunately, I do not, and so I merely continue to dream about what I would buy if I did.

Of course, the main thing about today is buying gifts for Christmas. I think, though, that there are only so many things one can purchase for a person. I guess that's why we create wish lists. While I might not like a Guide to Freshwater Fishing, I might very much like a copy of Trout Fishing in America. While I might not want a socket set, I might like a automobile! But of course, Santa isn't as willing to buy such big durable goods for someone, unless they have bigger bucks than most of us.

I like holiday shopping when I have money to buy things for myself and the household. I can head out to one of my favorite stores and look for less conventional items. New bedding for the bed, a new toaster, a new mixer, some catnip for the little guys, fuzzy socks, a new 1TB external hard drive, a 100 spindle of DVD blanks--the list goes on and on! When I know exactly what I want, it makes sense for me to get what I want when it reaches a decent (aka afforable) price!

But that's not to say that shopping at the holiday season is any fun. Crowds, long walks, cold weather, pushing, shoving, long lines, bad manners.... I'm very grateful, instead, to shop online when I can--my mind and body thanks me when I do!

I don't have a lot of people to shop for, thank goodness. I feel very sorry for those people who have, not only spouses, but kids, many close friends, and other family members to buy things for. Even setting a spending limit on gifts can be tough, and many folks feel obligated to spend more than they want to.

I'll stick to Big Lots, Ocean State Job Lots, Christmas Tree Shoppes, the various dollar stores, eBay and just about any other place where I can budget a little better. I'm not cheap--I'm just poor--very, very poor. :)

It's cold now, and I have limited resources for the winter, another facet of life in the big city. But it's still warmer inside than it is outside, which certainly helps when I'm shopping!

I have to go and get my shopping list together--what exists of one, anyhow! Take care--and Happy Shopping to All!

Harry Potter and the overdramatic Deathly Hallows

I confess. I read the book about a dozen times in the past few years. It's not like I don't do anything else--in fact, I watch TV, follow politics, post on a few web boards, and I read a lot. In a year, I probably get through about 25-30 books. So reading HP and the DH was just something I was enjoying. There are clues in various places in the books, and you just have to marvel at how Jo Rowling tied up all the ends so nicely in the last one.

The one thing, though, that I felt was off in 7 was how she portrayed Hagrid. In a few cases, it seemed like she was treating him like a buffoon, but that's a personal opinion, not something that critically could be considered wrong with the book.

But the last book kept elements close together. It brought in all the old characters, added a few new ones, but basically held together everything with bonds of steel. The relationships were both old and new, with a true feeling of family and friendships. And we all celebrated the good times in the book and lamented the bad times.

So when Mad-Eye Moody gets killed so early in the book, a feeling of loss goes with him. When Fleur is so happy to be marrying Bill, we're all happy for them both. When we see Kreacher turn from a foul house-elf to a fine house-servant, we're happy for him. When Tonks tells us she is pregnant, we celebrate!

But almost none of that is in the movie. We know instinctively that those things happened in the book, but if you haven't read them, you're going to go WTF? an awful lot.

Mad-Eye is killed in the chase, but there isn't a toast to this memory. When Fleur is so intense about the wedding, we see no real emotion, but for one brief moment. When the trio leaves Kreacher for their exploits at the ministry, we have no idea how much he has changed. And when Tonks and Lupin go off, there is nothing to suggest the very sad and aching love they have for each other, and about Remus's hesitation about his upcoming fatherhood.

There is no investment in these characters in the film. It's like "strip the souls from everyone but Ron, Harry and Hermione, make the others more melodramatic with no attachment to the real story, and voila! you have Deathly Hallows Part One."

I confess: I don't like David Yates' direction. There has been something off about it since OOTP, though I might be one of the few who think that. I think his often amateurish direction is quite obvious in this film. The film is often like a roller coaster, with giddy high points, either in the action or the tone, but there are also many very low points, and there is nothing in the middle. We don't LEARN anything from the characters--we follow them on their journey, yes, but we have to inject too much of the overall plot from the book to see what has been left out, and what is still present. There are times when a montage filming of the many places the trio (and in the middle, the duo) went could get that section speeded up without weighing it down (a friend with me found the middle WAY too slow), and at times, a more polished director could have found ways to make the scenes pack a lot more information into them. It certainly didn't look like the kids weren't eating a whole lot, or how much Hermione actually fit into her small pocketbook. The scene that could have managed that would have been the scene in the book where Hermione packs the full sized painting of Sirius Black's relative, Phineas Black, former headmaster of Hogwarts, into her bag. But it was not to be.

I think if there had been a consistent tone during the film, it would have helped bring a more cohesive tone to the film, interlocking all the elements into one. But there wasn't that kind of a feeling in it, and I am disappointed that it didn't happen.

I might be one of the very few fans who feels the film wasn't a very good one. Yes, it's only half of a whole, and the second half might be a totally different one, emotionally, and dramatically. But I just need to say to fans, go with the warning that there are a lot of faults with this installment, and accept it just as a nice visual film, with very, very little to do with the entire HP legacy. It probably won't help, and you will be filling in the blanks from the books, but it's certainly better than nothing.

On a 1-100 scale, I give it a 78.

Age

My Age

Fatigue cuts now where once it only burned
My eyes look downward, not to rising heights
Thoughts retreat instead of making plans
The past looms larger than an unending future.

I'm not old, I'm just weary
The days of light seem far, far away
The days of sunsets are closer and closer
The nights look sharper than the mornings ever did.

My ears hate the noises of life
My mind has known too much regret
My life seems meaningless in 10,000 ways
But my heart still longs for love everlasting.